Empty in Love

I really don't wanna fill my blog with the word EMPTY. Cause i`m not that blank. Though after some time of being single (when i say some time i mean 6 months!) I am starting to feel like i'm ready to love again though I am not willing to. Really mental thinking if you ask me but blimey! when i hear some love songs when i think of happiness I suddenly think about love and having someone with me. Maybe ... just maybe I am tsooo happy that i tend to feel certain things. But i'm not really sure so I`m still taking no risk. I just wanna be alone right now . There were even some occasions that i felt that I`m not a girl anymore.. feels like I forgot how to be sweet,flirty and things like that 
I don`t wanna be a big fake but man, I seriously suck when a guy's near me now nor just talkin' to him (who ever he is).. I even try to avoid guys though there are times that I really like that particular guy..
At may age I have encountered a lot of guys not meaning we were exclusive just something that is valuable (i suppose), maybe something special..from asian type to caucasian type. But all in all I seem to be scared to give even a tinee tiny trust. I no longer feel sparks that I'm suppose to feel. But darn! I dont really have the faintest idea why I can feel this sudden HAPPINESS when i hear love songs.. 
But of course i`m not that thoughtless.
 I have a theory...maybe it's because of God's love.Maybe that's what I am feeling. I feel in love (romantically) though I am not,I think this is what they call CONTENTMENT? but i am not sure. 
Geez I am one of a heck girl.. 
But there's a lot of time to think about this and wait for that someone.
I just hope his cute but being a Christian and a man of God is a requirement..lol


-xoxo
C.G.B.